How Does It Make Them Feel?

 

Here is something I haven't thought about before. When I say "Ugh, I'm so fat" or "I shouldn't eat this" or "I hate my pointy nose", I am expressing my negative feelings about my physical appearance. But how does it make other people feel about themselves? 

I frequently list all my physical flaws for my boyfriend, Austin. I think my arms are fat. I think my thighs are fat. I have love handles. I have a pointy nose. I have a cow lick. My eyes are a boring color. This is what Austin likes to call "fishing for compliments". I say "I'm fat" so he'll say "No, you're not" just so I can NOT believe him anyway. Well, I have never really thought about how this makes HIM feel. I love Austin very much and would never knowingly hurt his feelings. But isn't that what I'm doing? Aren't I just saying "You have bad taste in women!" or "You're not good-looking enough yourself to get a pretty girlfriend" when I don't think any of these things are true. Worst of all, I am also telling Austin that I don't trust him by perpetually demanding that he tell me I have a perfect nose. Not to mention how EXHAUSTING it must be to say the same thing over and over again.

And here's something else I've noticed about the men in my life. They don't notice things until their women point them out. Example: Mother says "I got my hair done today", Daddy says "It looks great." So, WHY would I point out my flaws to Austin when he is probably not even going to notice them otherwise?! What happened to me being a smart cookie?

How does it make my mother feel? I got half of her genes (all the good ones, of course!). I think my mother is a Beatiful Woman and a lot of my Beauty (inside and out) comes from her.  Part of my mother's Beauty is that she is THE ultimate mother, which means she worries or feels guilty when something is not right for one of her babies. So, if I express the thought that I'm ugly, my poor mother is likely to feel like she didn't tell me I'm pretty and special enough times in my childhood. In fact, she told me EVERY SINGLE DAY. And my mother also raised me to believe that being smart, kind, and honest are a lot more important than what I'm wearing. (My dad did all this stuff too, but this is a blog about beautiful women so...)

Now for my friends. I have some great friends and we are all different shapes and sizes. I have often felt bad about myself when a girl that I considered thin complained about her size. It made me feel like I must be a hippo! But what about when I complain about my face and hair? For the most part, I have pretty clear skin and my hair is a nice color and texture. All of us have different complaints and different physical attributes. So when I point out what I consider my physical detriments, I could be unintentionally putting down another Beautiful Woman.

I never want to do anything to hurt others so this is just another reason to change the way I think and talk about what makes a woman Beautiful!