Nerdy is the New Sexy!

Beautiful Women in Harry Potter

I came across this video about a week ago and I love it so much! I am a HUGE fan of the Harry Potter series. I also greatly admire J.K. Rowling. Not only did she write this fantastic series, but she is also an incredibly philanthropic and passionate woman. She financially supports charities devoted to MS and needy children, but she also used her talent and passion (writing) to let kids know that being smart, brave, and hard-working makes them beautiful. 

I also appreciate Rowling for her practicality and honesty in interviews. I think she showed a great deal of confidence and pride in her work through her involvement in the film series, such as insisting that all the actors and actresses be British. In addition, Rowling has been honest about mistakes that she made when dealing with publishers early in her career. For example, she has noted that she regrets allowing the first Harry Pottery book to be published in the U.S. as the Sorcerer's Stone rather than the Philosopher's Stone (it's title in the U.K.) but her position as a fledgling author caused her to comply.

Anyway, here is a delightful interview in which Rowling discusses the strong women in her series, including some less than beautiful ones (Bellatrix!).

 My personal favorite moment is when she discusses her childhood excitement when she discovered a heroine that was "plain" since she considered herself to be plain as well. I also LOVE when she discusses Hermoine who never compromised being smart for being liked or sexy. She was smart AND she was a woman (as finally noticed by Ron!) and there's nothing wrong with that. There have been many days when I have felt embarassed by the fact that I read for fun, enjoy learning, and do (most) of my homework on time. 

Well, all my Smart and Beautiful friends (because it's the same thing, isn't it?), there is NOTHING wrong with having "nerdy" interests. But that also does not mean we are better than our less nerdy friends (or enemies;). There is nothing wrong with being more interested in athletics, mechanics, music, or television. We need all sorts of people to make our society function. If some people didn't love playing football, then my mother would have no respite from my father on a fall Sunday afternoon! And if there weren't people who love fantasy novels, then Sean Bean would not be able to look good dying in film/TV adaptations of said novels. And nobody wants that to stop!

So, remember my Beautiful friends, nerdy is the new sexy!

Can we just take a moment to recognize how beautifully and epically awesome Molly Weasley is?

(p.s.the history major in me is pointing out that all my posts include images and videos that I find inspiring. I did not create them and I do not own them. I found them on google and pinterest. No copyright infringement or plagiarism intended!)

How Does It Make Them Feel?

 

Here is something I haven't thought about before. When I say "Ugh, I'm so fat" or "I shouldn't eat this" or "I hate my pointy nose", I am expressing my negative feelings about my physical appearance. But how does it make other people feel about themselves? 

I frequently list all my physical flaws for my boyfriend, Austin. I think my arms are fat. I think my thighs are fat. I have love handles. I have a pointy nose. I have a cow lick. My eyes are a boring color. This is what Austin likes to call "fishing for compliments". I say "I'm fat" so he'll say "No, you're not" just so I can NOT believe him anyway. Well, I have never really thought about how this makes HIM feel. I love Austin very much and would never knowingly hurt his feelings. But isn't that what I'm doing? Aren't I just saying "You have bad taste in women!" or "You're not good-looking enough yourself to get a pretty girlfriend" when I don't think any of these things are true. Worst of all, I am also telling Austin that I don't trust him by perpetually demanding that he tell me I have a perfect nose. Not to mention how EXHAUSTING it must be to say the same thing over and over again.

And here's something else I've noticed about the men in my life. They don't notice things until their women point them out. Example: Mother says "I got my hair done today", Daddy says "It looks great." So, WHY would I point out my flaws to Austin when he is probably not even going to notice them otherwise?! What happened to me being a smart cookie?

How does it make my mother feel? I got half of her genes (all the good ones, of course!). I think my mother is a Beatiful Woman and a lot of my Beauty (inside and out) comes from her.  Part of my mother's Beauty is that she is THE ultimate mother, which means she worries or feels guilty when something is not right for one of her babies. So, if I express the thought that I'm ugly, my poor mother is likely to feel like she didn't tell me I'm pretty and special enough times in my childhood. In fact, she told me EVERY SINGLE DAY. And my mother also raised me to believe that being smart, kind, and honest are a lot more important than what I'm wearing. (My dad did all this stuff too, but this is a blog about beautiful women so...)

Now for my friends. I have some great friends and we are all different shapes and sizes. I have often felt bad about myself when a girl that I considered thin complained about her size. It made me feel like I must be a hippo! But what about when I complain about my face and hair? For the most part, I have pretty clear skin and my hair is a nice color and texture. All of us have different complaints and different physical attributes. So when I point out what I consider my physical detriments, I could be unintentionally putting down another Beautiful Woman.

I never want to do anything to hurt others so this is just another reason to change the way I think and talk about what makes a woman Beautiful!

 I Am A Beautiful Woman

(I Just Don't Know It) 

“What you think about yourself is much more important than what others think of you.” ~ Marcus Annaeus Seneca

Kasey Edwards, author of a book called 30 Something and Over It, recently published an article called "When Your Mother Says She's Fat." You can find the article here and I strongly encourage everyone to read it. In a letter to her Mother, Kasey writes about the first time she learned to associate the word "fat" with her mother at the age of seven. In the same moment, she learned that fat was a synonym for ugly and horrible. She then describes the insecurity and anxiety that developed from growing up in a society that  "tells women that their beauty matters most, and at the same time defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of reach." 

Edwards ends the letter by expressing her fears for her 3-year old daughter Violet, still too young to know what makes a person "fat" or "ugly". She wrote, "I don't want Violet to believe that beauty is her most important asset, that it will define her worth in the world. When Violet looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves."

Articles like this one have been going around the internet. There is another good one here.
However, Edwards' article, in particular, inspired me. My sister-in-law, the mother of two boys, posted it to her facebook page with a comment about her personal pact to never disparage her appearance in front of her kids. She wrote, "They don't see me that way, they don't see ANYONE that way, and they won't unless I teach them to." Though I consider myself an aunt extraordinaire, I cannot say I have ever made any such pact. While I don't recall disparaging my looks to my nephews, I certainly have to my parents, my friends, and my boyfriend. And the worst part is I don't believe them when they tell me otherwise.

Reading this article, I realized something about myself that I didn't like. I have always considered myself a feminist. I wrote my undergraduate thesis about the pursuit of women's rights through art, and I received an assistantship for a master's program that pays my entire tuition plus a stipend. I'm a smart cookie and I work hard. I like stories about strong women and never fail to scowl at the frequent objectification of the female body in television and film (Could Uhura wear anything tighter or shorter?) My fellow graduate students and I enjoy mocking the undergraduate "uniform" on our campus. I have laughed many times to hear these girls, who seem to all dress alike in tight pants or short shorts, described as clones. 

And still I recognize myself in these undergraduates (though you'd NEVER catch me in something so tight or short: not with my thighs). I recognize myself in Kasey Edwards and her mother. Because all my many accomplishments mean nothing to me when I look in the mirror or step on the scale. All this leads me to the reason I am starting this blog:

I am a woman who believes that my worth in the world is tied to my looks 

and I don't want to be that kind of woman anymore.    

When something inspires us, I believe strongly that we should take that inspiration and run with it. So I am writing a blog that, I hope, will help me to recognize the true beauty in myself and others around me. Of course, I can tell myself all day long that true beauty is on the inside and I've got it. But, just as Edwards wrote to her mother, "we need to believe it ourselves." And I don't. My entire life, my parents have told me I'm beautiful and talented and special. For three and a half years, my boyfriend has told me I'm adorable and smart and caring. My oldest nephew says I'm "the best Caitie in the world." But it won't be real until I believe it. This is a commitment I am making to myself, but I need accountability. I am under no delusion that anyone will read this (outside my mother:) but just seeing the words on the screen builds my resolve: I am going to think differently about myself.

 This is not to say that I am going to start liking my pudgy places and chipped fingernails. I will continue to exercise and try to eat a balanced diet. I want to be rid of those problem spots and I want to live a healthy lifestyle so that I can live in my imperfect body long enough to accomplish everything I want to. This blog is not about accepting the "chubby" version of myself and pretending it's beautiful.

This blog is about changing my focus.  I live in this body. So I need to keep it functioning as smoothly as possible. And I need to feel like it's a comfortable and attractive place to live, just like my apartment. But the fact that I like cookies and wear a size 12 dress does not make me a failure. Maybe I choose the cookies when I know it's fattening and unhealthy, but I also choose NOT to eat meat because I am the kind of woman who doesn't want to cause pain to living creatures. I wear a size 12 dress but, more importantly, I am the kind of woman who shops second-hand or fair-trade most of the time because I believe in happy workers and a happy planet. 

I love animals. I love people. I love the Earth. That makes me a Beautiful Woman. Not my size 12 dress or the cardigan I wear to hide (what I believe to be) my fat arms.I know a lot of other Beautiful Women. I want them to know they are Beautiful to. I want to tell you about them. So, everyday I am going to write something that makes me Beautiful (modesty doesn't count:). And, as often as I can find the time, I want to write about other Beautiful Women in my life.